An Unwanted First

"So how did drop off go?"

Its what i always have to ask during our usual morning phone call. Husband drops off the kid at daycare and we alternate picking up. I go into work too early to ever do a drop off. But since i don't get the experience, i want every. single. detail. was he tired? was he happy? what was he doing when you left? what did the staff say? were his other buddies there? I ask the same question everyday. I often wonder why husband doesn't just offer up this info. he always waits for me to ask. does he think one day, i just won't ask?

"Well, drop off was - different today. We had a first," he says.

"What do you mean? different? how?"

"He cried when i left him today. not just whimpering but real cry - crying. tears. sad face. reaching for me. the whole thing," he rambled, letting out a big sigh.

We've been so lucky. A normal drop off is just that. Normal. uneventful. when he was wee little, husband wouldn't hand him over to the daycare ladies, wave bye, and leave. No issue. lately, the kid has even been waving bye back and grinning. but today. his first tearful 'no please don't leave me daddy, i need and want you, no no no don't go, i'm in tears now, i'm reaching for you, take me with you, please please' goodbye:(

"WHAT? You have got to be kidding me! What happened? What was different? WHY?" I asked.

"I don't know. Nothing was different! It was our usual routine! I handed him over to Nancy, gave her the papers you asked me to, and then kissed him on the cheek, told him I loved him and waved bye bye. His lip came out, a sad look came over, so i grabbed him and snuggled him real tight, kissed him again. and promptly handed him back. I started to walk out while waving. he usually loves this part, where we do the wave bye bye routine. but NOT Today. The sad face came back, he was whimpering and when i kept walking away, he broke out into sobs and tears were flowing! He was reaching for me, his face got all red and sad, then he was pushing nancy away... thats how it was when i left," he finished, paused, then let out a big, sad sigh.

Another Sigh. (husband)

Sigh. (me)

"Well..." (me)

"Yea. Well..." (husband)

"Hmmm..." (me)

"Whats this mean ya think? Maybe he hates it there now? he wants to be with us?" he brainstorms. We go back and forth over several ideas. He was there a long time yesterday. We are sharing one car right now and depending on others for rides, drop offs, etc. So the kid was there for a long time yesterday, the longest he's ever been. Maybe he's going through a seperation anxiety phase? we've read about this. Did something happen there yesterday? Hmmmmmm --

"He's probably sick of the place!" I suggested. "Monday he was there from 8am till 5:15, Yesterday from 6:30am till 5:15! WAY too long. those are just long days. AND when i picked him up, he was sweating! it was too hot in there. He's probably sick of the place and tired of being hot while there, sweating, trying to nap while burning up. AND he got his solid breakfast before his morning bottle, which i did not like, i want his bottle first, then foods!" I ranted. Another sigh - from me this time.

"What if he starts hating the place?" I ask. "It's not like he can tell us!"

"This week is unusual for us because of only one car. So maybe thats it. He's there longer than usual. We get the car back tomorrow. that should help. We'll get back into our routine, meaning less time there, more time at home," husband suggests.

"I guess," I pouted. "I hate that. I don't want him sad, but maybe its bound to happen. Tearful goodbyes. They just go with the territory I hear."

"I guess," he agrees.

So yea, another first. But an unanticipated one. An unwanted first.