Our Fridays

I'm off from work on Fridays... and though it means working 10 hours each day monday-thursday, is really worth it to have three full days with the kid, making for a little longer weekend. Fridays are OUR day and i hate when anything causes us to even have to leave the house! So my 9am dental appt ended up being canceled. I used the icey weather as an excuse but deep down i know if it hadn't of been icey, i would have found another reason! he's taken to getting up again at night, and the most during the weeknights (of course!). So when he wakes at 3:30am, i finally get him back down around 4:15am, i just stay up because my usual wake up time for work is 4:30am! those nights are rough... if all else fails, we put him in the carseat and he will snooze till 8 or 8:30am in there. He's always slept best in the carseat! and its incredibly tempting to just put him in there at 8pm (his bedtime) during the week but he does okay in the crib so we always start him there. Last night was much better - he was only up once. I nursed him, and he went right back to sleep, in the crib! yippee.

Yesterday I go to pick him up at daycare... there is a window where you can look in before the entrance to his room. I also look for him before i go in, to see what he's doing, if he's happy, etc. I see a baby sitting on the floor... for a split second i thought, oh well thats not him, that babies too big. Then to quickyl realize, crap, that IS him!! wow, is he growing!! i couldn't get over it. He was sitting on the floor across from another baby boy his age. Both with boppies around them, sitting up, sharing toys. Too cute! I wish i had the camera.... then he looks up, spots me, and GRINS:) We drive home together and i talk to him briefly, then stop and turn on christmas music, knowing he's asleep.

abrams first snow

I woke up on a November friday morning... the kid was awake and i stumbled in to get him. He notices me as i tiptoe into his room and grins, raising his head straight up, while laying flat, trying to situp, like always! i whisk him up, holding him close, taking in that baby smell. He's in his best mood first thing in the morning. Back in our bedroom, husband flips up the blind, and wow!! snow!! we had only been expecting rain... We all gaze out the window. Trees are covered, grass covered, and the deck looked to be showing about 3 inches! I announce to husband, get the camera ready, and the camcorder, Its the kids first snow! pictures. video. I layer him up, hat, mittens, two pairs of pants, shoes, coat. He doesn't know whats happening, because our friday mornings are usually filled with a lot more snuggly cuddle time in bed, mainly because i love it, but also because i'm still half asleep...

we bound outside. use all possible cameras. he doesn't really notice the snow much but does lay back in it... here he is afterward... in a snow induced daze i suppose?

Some pictures finally...

I finally have some new pictures. Husband took our camera to work and was able to upload some there to his cpu and then transferred to our home cpu via email. complicated i know!! cameras are on sale right now all over the place but its a bad time of year for us to be spending money on ourselves since we're supposed to be buying gifts for others! But i'll post a few new pics hopefully sometime before the weekend. In the meantime, michelle once again took some adorable pictures of abram while over at the house. We had her and her family over for dinner and hoped to do some photos of abram and all 3 of us too. But it was SO cold. and SO windy. We took pics for about 5 minutes!! but she rocks and managed to get some great photos. A few she took of abram are posted on her blog if you want to check them out. Our family photo will be in christmas cards:) Many thanks to michelle! Husband thanks them too b/c I actually cooked chicken since we had them over. lol.

29 weeks

He will be 29 weeks tomorrow. We still haven't gotten the camera repaired. Thank goodness we can still TAKE pictures at least. and we can print from our memory card at Sams Club. But who actually makes the time to go print photos these days. People just pass around the whole camera anymore I notice. Telling whomever, just hit the forward button to see them all. We do it ALL the time.

29 weeks. Wow. He's heavy now. I can't carry him in his carseat carrier anymore. When i pick him up at daycare, i have to carry out his bags and the seat first. Then return inside to actually get him. He's eating foods though Peas are no longer a favorite. He loves the other stuff though. Apples, Bananas, Carrots, Sweet Potatoes, Squash, Pumpkin, Rice Cereal, and soon he'll be trying Green Beans, Lentils, and Oatmeal.

I put on a 3-6 month onsie on him a couple days ago. It barely snapped at the bottom!

"This is too little Abram!" I tell him in my baby voice.

He grins as if to say 'yea mom duh. i'm close to seven months old now...' ha.

I've already had to put away clothes of his that are too small. A huge bag of them.

The other day I took away the bread bag from him when he was in the grocery cart (not lose, in his seat!) and he started crying like he'd been injured! His personality is emerging. And it is SO. MUCH. FUN.

27 weeks

I track his age in weeks. And also in months. He was 6 months old last friday. Today he's 27 weeks. At some point, I suppose i'll just revert to months. Or maybe not, since I'm obsessed with the kid. Obsessed in a good, fun, motherly sort of way. He's been eating carrots. and he loves carrots. I'm not surprised. While pregnant, once i wasn't puking my guts out, I drank carrot juice, ate carrots as a side dish, and even had them chopped up on my salad. So we knew he'd love carrots. He likes peas. And apparently, the rice cereal is growing on him.

I would upload some new photos but our camera is broken. We can still take pictures but cannot upload them anymore. Something in the camera, where the cord plugs in, connecting computer to camera, is broken. so we are still snapping away but can't constantly post photos of the kid - bummer:( maybe we'll find a camera repair shop? do those exist? Thats my idea. Husbands idea? New Camera of course!!

So, for the most recent photo of the kid, click here. My friend Michelle took a few snapshots while we had dinner the other night at Arpeggio, and posted them on her blog. If you have a chance, also check out her photography website here - she makes great photos!!

Growing up ...

Our boy is growing up so we took to snapping extra photos as often as we can... course in the black/white you can't see those big blue eyes... but they're still there. Big. Blue. Eyes.

Friends

We all gotta have friends...

6 months old!

It was quite the celebration as we woke to an unexpected snow!! And not only the kid's first snow, but he hit the 6 month mark today as well:) 6 months old. First snow. First time eating peas. Teething. Sitting up on his own. Reaching for Everything. Doctors appointment for a well baby checkup. Dr says he looks good, weighing in at 15.5lbs, 26.5 inches long, and a head circumference of 17 inches. We had only given him rice cereal a few times before todays appointment. Since he had done well with that the dr gave us the go ahead to try other things. So we can home and celebrated with green peas! yippee. thats what i would want on MY 6 month birthday too - right!?

We took pictures of the kid outside this morning in the snow and they are too cute. Yet i can't load them onto the computer because our camera or the cord that connects the camera to the computer isn't working. I'm so disappointed but will post the most recent pics we took of him, which were made on Nov 16, 5 days before his 6 month mark.



And last but not least, the kid is sitting up on his own, even though he's terribly unsteady. He tries and realizes whats going on, and is SO proud of himself:) Here is a short video of him showing off:)

Halloween and first food...

The Kids First Halloween... a peapod:)


Loving on daddy after some exhausting trick or treating - which we just observed...


And that quickly, he was wiped out... he woke up the next day with a cold:(


Halloween has come and gone. Week one of daycare seems like ages ago as he is now settled in there and starting week 4 next monday. He's started rice cereal and though he thoroughly seems to enjoy the process and attention of being fed, he doesn't appear to truly appreciate the rice cereal itself. He mulls it around, swishes it through his gums, and then edges it out again with the tongue.

"I don't think he's swallowing it," I tell husband.

"Oh he is. I can tell. See? He just swallowed," he says.

I fed more, thinking, this is his fourth time with the stuff, maybe he is swallowing. No, just more mulling. I don't witness any swallowing.

"No. No. He isn't. See? No swallow effect in the throat... I was watching," I insist. "Well try again tomorrow."

"Okay. But i still swear i saw him swallow."

Now this morning, a couple weeks after our first attempt, was feeding number 6 or 8 or 10. Clearly I haven't kept count... even though I thought i had - till i tried to write what feeding number this way. Despite that, he appeared to have maybe swallowed a bit. But was much more interested in My Food and My Spoon. I was having a green smoothie out of a large glass with a huge metal spoon. He was having more breastmilk rice cereal out of a tiny bowl with a teeny plastic spoon. The big stuff looked better obviously. For a brief, horrible parent moment, I considered giving him a big taste of the green stuff. Then had a flash of him breaking out into hives from the spinach, mango or coconut water.

"No," I tell him. "Babies don't eat this stuff."

He babbles back.

"No back talk," I say, while loving his little voice.

Sammy nudges my leg.

"Dogs don't eat this stuff either boy."

daycare continued

Day 4 - it was cold out so husband had him in his coat and hat. when i picked him up he had on a different outfit and was layered up beyond belief. a short sleeve onsie under a long sleeve shirt and insulated pants! those woman sure like to keep him wrapped up warm and cozy i guess.

Daycare... week one

He started daycare this past week and husband took a pic each morning of him before they left the house. it works out great that its right by his work. then the kid is able to sleep until 7:45ish. Seems things went well overall. They said he was good, ate well, and took naps better by the end of the week. Each day, around 1pm, I'm so ready to hit the road and go pick up my baby!! Its a great feeling to pull into that parking lot and come back out with him in the backseat...

Day 1 - he arrived late on his first day cause he was at home getting some extra zzz's. they called me at work to verify how much he usually eats in a feeding. just checking over a few things with me which was nice. he only took two 15 minute naps so when we got in the car afterward, he was zonked as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot.


Day 2 - he napped a little better and ate a little more. husband picked up and dropped of since he doesn't have class on tuesday nights. i missed being the one to pick him up but it was great having him home when i arrived. also nice to have husband home with me for the evening to-do's.


Day 3 - he napped really well and seems to be settling in. the daycare isn't so sure about us using glass bottles though. they want to be sure they are shatter resistant. we have no idea and tried to look into it. i really don't want to switch to plastic! abram does great with the glass dr. brown bottles my sis gave him.

first pumpkin

Last week, lucky for us, husbands mom had the chance to come out and be with the kid as I worked my first week back at work in 5 months. I did a 3 day (10hr day) work week to try and ease into things a bit. It was so nice knowing I was leaving the kid at home with her for my first week. It was a huge help having her here! she also bought abram his first pumpkin!



This week I returned to work for my full work schedule - monday thru thursday, 10 hour days. The kid started daycare on monday, with husband being in charge of dropping off and me in charge of pick-up. Lets just say that by Thursay I was dying to leave, go get him, and just hold him all night long! but we like the daycare and overall things went well.

19 weeks

The kid is now 19 weeks old. I've come to realize that a lot of the fabulous clothes he received as gifts just aren't going to be worn, must to my disappointment. The season is changing and he is growing... I hurriedly try to put him in short sleeve things that are too big, just to work them in. We've gone to a couple "outgrown sales" that are put on my local ladies in the community so he now has a winter jacket, more pants, hats, and long sleeves - even a couple sweaters. I not only love going to the outgrown sales and was previously puzzled by how many things still had tags on them. Now, i realize why - people love to give clothes as a gift, often its impossible for the kid to wear them all, and you sadly don't end up using some stuff. Therefore - we get new items for consignment prices - love it:) and we're loving his new little hats too - obviously he doesn't know what to think of them! ha.





Last night was bath night and he's started to really enjoy the kicking, splashing, water dripping, hair washing, soapy suds:)



He can't seem to roll over again... he tries, from the back, the belly, but its a no go thus far... he seems to think, hey i've done it once, didn't like it, done with it.

18 weeks old

He's growing so fast! and making so many new faces each day. The kid turned 18 weeks old yesterday. After what felt like 18 weeks of daycare tours, (but was realistically two) we've finally settled on a daycare for him. La Petite Academy (sounds fancy but don't be deceived, its just a daycare) is three buildings down from husbands work and most convenient. Husband can drop him off as he arrives at work and I can do pickups on the evenings husband has class. They had the best hours, serve meals, and have some sort of curriculum we didn't pay much attention to. The kid will be 5 months old when he starts. What sort of infantile curriculum can they possible sell me? Just play with him and hold him for crying out loud. Thats what i want from you...

His fourth month checkup with the dr was Monday. All went well till the kid got the shot in the leg and the drops in the mouth, neither of which did he care for, at all. The dr basically said hes long and lean with an average size head. I'll take that.

"Has he rolled over?" the dr asks.

"Oh no, and he doesn't even seem interested in it. He doesn't like to be on his tummy much, but he has rolled to his side a couple times." I respond, not worried about him rolling over. And not really wanting him to roll over actually... because I'm not ready! He starts rolling and rolling leads to... well, it leads to something more mobile i'm sure!

"Rolling onto his side is good. He should be rolling over soon. Just give him more tummy time to encourage it, ok?"

"Sure, Okay." Thinking to self, again i say, he doesn't like tummy time. Ahh oh well.

Good thing husband wasn't along for this visit. He would fret that she seems to think the kid should have rolled over when he hasn't. She didn't say that. He would have sworn she thought it though. His first missed pediatrician visit. Probably a good one to miss. I later tell him in a quick summary the events of the visit, quickly skimming past the rolling over chat, condensing it to a mere sentence, like it was barely spoken.

The kid has also gotten a little sentence to me being loud. With kid in the bjorn and walking the dogs, a wild cat jumped out of a bush, practically attacking the dogs and scaring me, I screamed. The kid broke into tears. Later, I'm holding him on my lap and suddenly laugh out loud at an old Everybody loves Raymond episode. Again, he broke into tears.

Tonight, though trying to work in more "tummy time", the kid still wasn't loving it. So, i move him to his back and place his toys around. He swings his legs over, moves to his side, and whoops, there it was, he rolled over onto his belly. and did not like it. He's face first on the gound and broke into tears. Sigh, again with the tears. Poor little thing!

I marked it on the calendar - Rolled Over:)

Husband gets home, spots it on the calendar, and just shakes his head.

"I can't believe I missed that.." he mutters.

"He'll do it again hon," I reassure him.

"But not for the first time."

17 weeks

17 weeks


I know I'm a week late posting his 17 week old photos but better late than never. We have low batteries in the camera and a full memory card so picture taken has slowed a great deal here at our house. Sure we could buy batteries and delete some pics from the memory card but why do that? Thats too easy! We're nowing saving all the pics to the computer yet for some reason, i still feel bad to delete them from the memory card. weird. i know. so i'm sending husband to target to get a bigger, better, hold more pictures memory card so we can snap away and breath easily without having to delete the kids pics from the memory card. Now, If I can only get to the CVS to actually print the photos! That would be a milestone!



It's nice to finally get some pictures of him smiling. He smiles SO much now but its hard to capture in a photo because the moment he seems the flash light up he is distracted and turns so serious... thinking, whats that!? He's reaching for things these days. First thing he really reached for was husbands red tie. Second was the polar bear that hangs above his pack n play changing table. Third and now most often is "Mr. Snail" on his bouncey seat. He regularly reaches out to Mr. Snail now... not the frog, or the turtle who are right there and similar colors. Nope. Only Mr. Snail.

Stroller Time

The kid finally got to ride in the stroller without being in the carrier that attaches on the top. He was able to sit in the actual stroller part where he could see out, and take in everything from the outside world... He absolutely loves it, kicking his little feet, hitting the tray with his hands, and just smiling...

Saturday mornings...

Three little bears...



He can finally be propped up without assistance and he loves it. He just grins when he realizes he's on his own. We have the pod seat that he can almost sit in, I think a few more weeks on that. He's not yet rolling over but he's more active now during 'tummy time' and raises his head all the way up to scan around for his toys. We're introducing more bottle feedings since daycare is within sight these days. He's always gotten a bottle or two per weekends but thats it. So now a bottle every other day is going to happen and he doesn't like it. Last night he cried thru his entire feeding with husband, which caused it to take forever.... hopefully this will change!!

16 weeks

Snoozing...


The kid is 16 weeks now... time passes in the blink of an eye. Before we knew it, we were out touring daycares and checking our status at other centers where we are on 'the list' - the waiting list that seems endlessly long. He smiles frequently, laughs often, and eats every darn two hours! And naturally the pooping, peeing, crying, and sleeping all falls in there between... Overall hes such a happy content baby. Today on tour #1, our tour guide says, "and when he needs or if he needs extra attention, well definitely give him all we can". So, what if he doesn't require extra attention, he's just content sitting around looking at his toys and chillin in his bouncy? Me - paranoid, i know. Husband - more paranoid, absolutely.

15 weeks old

Each Wednesday I count down. 13 weeks. 14 weeks. Now 15. Sigh. The day I return to full time work inches closer and closer, with each paystub showing less time available for me to be at home with the kid. I want the best of both worlds. I want to be a stay at home mom to him. I want to have a full time career. I don't want to put him in daycare. I don't want to give up my job either. The daily struggle of this thing called life. motherhood. The kid is napping. So I snagged a moment to post the most recent naked kid pic... taken after his bath. Right now - bathtime is his second favorite activity, right behind walks in the bjorn.

We are puzzled as to who he looks like. My ears. Husbands hands and feet. My chin.

"Oh, he really reminds me of you right now", i say to husband, as Abram is wailing, red faced.

"What? why? how so? " husband says, not getting it.

After I do and say this about 4 more time, Husband tells me promptly, "cut the crap". Ha.

Just this week, I feel he resembles my brothers baby pictures in some way. Next week it may be different. He's ever changing it seems. Maybe he just looks like ... Abram:)

Bjorn Lover

His love of the baby bjorn... we go on walks daily, sometimes 2 -3 times per day because the kid loves it that much. He's alert, observing the neighborhood, open eyed at the trees, hearing dogs bark, and soaking in the glow of sunlight. Then he fades... into yet another nap. See? i love this kid... even more cute that he's asleep and cross eyed for this pic lol...

Happy Labor Day

Happy Labor Day folks... Abram celebrated with the best of them :-)

14 weeks old...

He's 14 weeks old and growing so fast. Its amazing how much faster time goes when you have a child and you watch them change and grow daily. Abram's personality is developing and he's showing his likes and dislikes these days which is nice and not so nice sometimes. Like one - he likes to sit up. Not so nice about that - he can't sit up on his own! So, we hold him up, put him in his swing or bouncy, sit him in his stroller, carry him in the baby bjorn, but don't prop him up - no, that is no good. You lay him flat on the couch which used to be perfectly fine - Nope, he cries out, No. haha. He doesn't insist on being held all the time which is a relief. But yesterday, he wanted my eyes on him at all times. I didn't have to be holding him, or even playing with him, just at least looking at him.

He's 14 weeks and two days old today and overall a great little baby. I feel so lucky. He's sleeping great. Eating well. Gaining weight. Happy and Smiling most days. Last night he went to bed at 9:30pm and this morning woke at 8am. He had been waking for a 5am feeding but apparently last night he either was so exhausted he didn't wake for it OR he just isn't going to need it anymore... ? Thats what we're hoping!

Husband had class last night from 6-9pm so he didn't get to see Abram all day yesterday. He felt he missed out on too much.

"He enjoyed his bath tonight", I say.

"I missed his bath!?! Man! I can't believe that. We need to do that on a night i'm home", he protests.

"He'll have lots of baths hon", I remind him.

"He won't always be this age though". Good point.

Note to self - do bath night on evenings when Husband is home. Husband adores being a dad and is So incredibly helpful to me, I don't want to rob him of ONE second he wants to cherish.

He's Here, I'm Back...

Baby Abram is here. I'm back online reading blogs and now finally, blogging myself. As I type, Abram is crying in his pack n play and I'm ignoring him. I feel guilty, typical i know, but I must have some moments to myself, despite his crying. So i remind myself, its okay to let him cry, and i go along with what i need or want to do. Don't get me wrong, we have plenty of loving time, cuddling, talking, rocking, feeding, and sleeping together... he's so amazing. Words can't describe. 

I was never the girl who thought or felt "i'm meant to be a mom" or "i can't wait to have kids". No. Not me. But after 7 years of marriage, we thought of adding on. I was 'on the fence' so to speak, for majority of my pregnancy. I feel guilty admitting that now of course because the moment i held abram, i thought, how could i have questioned whether i wanted this experience or not. I held him and thought - he's so big and he's so little all at the same time. He's so big - to have been living in my belly. in my body. and he's so tiny - such a tiny little creature for me to take home and care for! 

He was two weeks early. I woke up at 2:45am on a tuesday night (May 20 - well technically the 21st) thinking, boy, i have to pee - or have i peed myself? i stood to go to the bathroom and water started dripping. As i relaxed in the bathroom - there was a gush. I say to husband "i think it happened" and he was up in a flash to run to the store, gather bags, take care of the dogs, and i called my OB. No rush. so we showered, taking our time, being sure we had all we needed. 

As i said goodbye to sammy and nelly - i felt so odd, knowing it was the last time only they would be my world, because upon my return, we would have an addition. We got to the hospital at 4am, with mild contractions finally starting. 1 cm dilated. I refused petocin, hoping my contractions would come stronger naturally. but after 8 hours of walking in hopes of that (and only 4cm dilated), i took the advice of Dr. Wheeler and began petocin. Contraction came stronger, and faster and finally i asked for the epidural. Labor from there was a cinch. I only pushed for 18 minutes and then he emerged. His little body all bunched up and waxy was the most amazing thing i've laid eyes on. His cry the most precious thing i've ever heard. I was in awe. Born May 21st, 2008, at 5:10pm. 6lbs, 12 oz. 20 inches long. 14 hours of labor. SO worth it. The pregnancy that i hated - so worth it. 

35 weeks and 5 days...

yes! I'm moving along now... this thursday i will have reached 36 weeks, which means only 4 more to go! i'm getting really excited to welcome the little man into the world and not be pregnant any longer. Husband and I have tried to maintain a flurry of activity recently, trying to work in all the fun things we like to do together, seeing friends, heading into the city, etc. We know its not as if our life will end, but its going to change. And i'm sure just hopping in the car on a friday night to head into philly won't happen as often, or be as easy as it is right now. So, we're just taking advantage of our last 4 weeks - just us and the dogs.

I've also taken to the 'nesting' symptom of pregnancy... its so strange, but most all pregnant woman, particularly in the last trimester, become concerned with cleaning, clearing out, having the house just as it should be before the baby arrives. I didn't realize this was 'nesting' until it was pointed out to me. Recently, I had become obsessed with cleaning out closets. with making donations to the goodwill. with clearing the basement of stuff that should be trash. with planting our vegetables for the summer. with vacuuming. laundry. dishes. yard work. clearing out the refridgerator. the list goes on. Problem with some of these tasks, is that husband has to be the one doing it. Ya know, me, big ole pregnant, can't lift stuff. I announce "well today, we have GOT to clean out the exercise room and get the treadmill in there!! and clear out the basement. we have too much stuff!" then i end up monitoring much of his work, declaring 'thats trash', 'donate' or 'keep that', or 'why do you still have that' and husband saying 'we should have a yardsale'. What? A yardsale? add additional work? sure the cash would be great. (note to self - i will be out of work for 4 months. hmm) but ugh. we've had a yardsale twice - the first one was horrid, i hated it and had to do all the work myself. the second was a bit better but still not that great. we'll see.

Back to the pregnancy, I've enjoyed my third trimester better than the other two. I realize most woman are miserable by this point and say the third is the worst. Yet, i'm having the opposite experience. First and Second trimesters were just awful for me and the third has been much much better. I've enjoyed my life, been able to keep busy, and haven't felt horrid. Guess pregnancy sure does hit everyone differently.

Its interesting, folks ask, are you going to go natural or do the epidural? I mean, practical strangers ask me this. I'm always a little baffled, and end up sputtering out something like 'um, yea, well, uh, i just don't know.... well see...'. I made the mistake of telling one person, well i want to go natural. They proceeded to tell me why that was a bad idea, why i will end up taking the epidural, and why its no big deal. Okay, great, thanks. I didn't ask for your thoughts - you asked me my plan!! Now i give the most honest answer possible - i just don't know. My goal is to go as naturally as possibly but hey, this is my first experience so it may be pain beyond my wildest imaginable dreams that i can't endure for another nanosecond... i just don't know. So well see.

The kid moves daily. He pokes and prods me frequently. Last night I felt he was trying to bust through, tired of the womb, as the crown of his head emerged into a massive lump on my belly. I tell him, 'you fatten up in there kid... don't expand me out anymore... just you grow now'.

The kid will arrive soon. His room is ready. We have clothes for him. how bizarre to think we will soon bring another human being into this world, onto this earth, and into our home. I still can't fully comprehend this and look forward to the amazement of seeing him. (not the amazement of getting him out!)

33 weeks along

Today, I've reached 33 weeks. So 7 more to go, if I deliver on the due date, which is merely an estimate so who knows. Several times I've thought, 'well if i deliver early...', 'if he comes early...' but it just occurred to me, i could be overdue. My friend K who lives in NC was due April 12. we talked that day - no action she says. we talked on the 13th and again no action. i started having nightmares of my own about the kid staying in my belly way past my DD of June 5th! yikes. K gave birth only two days late, on the 14th and she handled 'being overdue' much better than i would have. My obgyn tells me that anything two weeks AFTER my DD is still normal. and they wouldn't induce before then unless necessary. I think, so you're telling me that as of June 22 this kid might still be in there just chillin?!?

In the past week i've noticed my mood has shifted and i'm just down and out. Maybe i'm just tired and worn down. tired of being pregnant. all very possible. i really thought with the nice spring like weather having arrived, i would feel energetic and in high spirits. But i have no energy and am just down. I'm sure it will pass... or hope so cause i don't want another 7 weeks of feeling like a complete slug.

I realize that my whole pregnant blog is a list of complaints lol. but i'm wanting to be honest for everyone else just as much as myself. i want to remember what i was really thinking/feeling while pregnant. While wrapped up in the massive amounts of love and bliss with my new son... i'm sure at some point i'll think maybe we should have another. THIS is for me to read, reminding myself of the reality and saying to ME - do you really want to do this again?? really??

about 8 weeks left...

As of this Thursday, I will have 8 weeks left. 8 weeks more of... being pregnant, wearing the same clothes over and over, lathering my stomach in anti stretch cream, getting up 5 times a night to pee, feeling famishly hungry when i wake up at 5am, not drinking coffee, wine, or beer, not eating sushi, having dozens of folks ask me daily how i feel, going to the dr all the time, feeling like i don't have the energy to even walk the dogs, constant thirst, a dying need for fruit smoothies, water ice, and cinnamon rolls, leg cramps in the middle of the night that cause me to jump out of bed spouting curse words of all kinds, feeling the kid inside me kicking and swirling at all hours, my belly button being an outie instead of its usually innie state, not wearing heels, scouring the cute 'regular' stores for pants/skirts with an elastic stretchy waist, seeing my weight go up up up, loving the smell of paint fumes, gasoline, sawdust, and basements, and wondering if i'm actually ready for this... am i? i'm still on the fence yet my fate is sealed. not optimal timing obviously. this is normal. so i hear. right?

i've been feeling so much better sine i hit 21 weeks as far as sickness. yet i have not enjoyed being pregnant - at all. i hear woman say "i loved being pregnant!". Huh? who are these people? I've also heard "it flies by!" Huh? it does? i feel like i've been pregnant for well over a year yet I have two months left... its the all consuming 'thing' that takes over from the moment the sperm and egg meet. should i plan that? i'm just not sure how i'll feel. well i can't wear that then, so no point. well next year, we'll have the baby. oh well need this for the baby. thats too close to the due date. should we. shouldn't we. blah blah blah. so those of you thinking of having a baby, don't think you can just live your life as you normally would up until the day the kid pops out. Impossible. No chance. Its not a bad thing necessarily - its just reality. Your life is already changed and is still changing, all while your pregnant. So if you're still wanting to live it up a little, travel, remodel, take some classes, get a new car, etc - do it before you conceive your kid. you'll be so glad you did.

On another note, feeling the kid move inside me is fascinating. To fully comprehend that a little baby, another human being, is inside MY body is so difficult... yet truly an amazing miracle. the process of creating another life and how God molded this process is baffling. The kid moves a lot these days... when I'm/he's hungry (same thing right?), when i'm at my desk, when i lay down to sleep. He has taken to jabbing a knee or elbow (something!) into my bladder at unexpected times, causing me to think i'm about to pee myself. then he must chuckle and move, giving me some relief, thinking ha, i gave her a scare. His foot came out near my rib yesterday - this is the farthest up and to the side he's been thus far. I hope this is an indication he will eventually fall into the head down position as needed. But I feel that he tumbles in there, in circles, back and forth. Telling his body parts apart is an impossible task. So who knows. With his hyper active self, he may jostle all over till the final day.

Lastly, its hard to imagine him getting any bigger - yet he must. With a little over 8 weeks left, he still is gaining weight, meaning taking up more room in there. Where else can he go? there is no room left in the Inn there kid. and i don't have a stable.

25 weeks, 4 days, 5 weeks, 4 days, etc...

Long time no write... maybe because nothing extremely eventful has occurred? Or i have just been overcome with laziness, haven't written, and cannot create a reasonable excuse. Again though, nothing extremely eventful has occurred therefore I felt no push to post my usual complaints and drab writings. Currently, I've reached 25 weeks and 4 days -pregnant that is, hence the title of this blog. I haven't thrown up in apx. 5 weeks and 4 days too - so things are looking up... to me, nothing was worse than the ongoing sickness. I've had other friends tell me when they were pregnant they hated - then their list of things such as - strangers touching your belly, people telling you you are 'getting big', the constant 'how are you feeling' question, 'do you have a name', 'is it a boy/girl', etc, the dreadful horror stories people insist on telling, and so on. Sure some of this is annoying but personally - after feeling like i had the flu for 15 weeks, none of these things bother me. I'm just continually thankful each day that i can eat, go to work, drink water, and function! So i'll answer all those persistent questions, nod at unwarranted advice, and smile when folks say 'you're getting big!'

At the end of January we found out we're having a boy... i wasn't prepared for this. i was convinced it was and would be a girl. i looked at girl clothes, thought of girl names, talked to 'her' frequently - all to find out, its a boy?!? what?!! no. are you sure? the tech moved the wand to just the right place - oh yes, she's sure. it was obvious. Husband and I had both wanted a girl - but really i think husband just hoped for this for my sake, when he really didn't care. We later learned, after breaking the news to family, that everyone else was hoping for a boy! I should have known I had my own family working against me:) This will be the first grandson for either side of the family - mine or husband's. So, theres an extra excitment added to it i suppose.

I had an older brother as a kid (and still do ha) but preferred an opposite arrangement for my own family - girl first and then boy or another girl, whatever. oh well. I've had other currently pregnant friends tell me they 'felt guilty' they wanted one sex when it was actually the other. But not me. I don't feel guilty. Because i know i'm going to love this boy with every inch of my being and he will be the most wonderful addition to our family. But that doesn't change the fact i wanted a girl to be the oldest. I don't feel guilty - it was just my feelings... no harm in them.

I've grown comfortable with the idea of a boy though - and look forward to the experience we'll have with him. We are anxious to meet him and knowing it is a HE makes it much more real. He is rather active too. I've gone from feeling 'bumps' to feeling jolts, stretches, booms from inside. He's most active when i lay down for bed (probably not a good sign eh?) but it doesn't yet keep me awake.

Without the sickness, i have no horrible side effects of pregnancy. just little things like some mild lower back pain (sort of like a pinched nerve), lack of energy, and swelling of my hands...

I've had the itch to clean our house top to bottom - well more so clean OUT the house top to bottom. I'm not scrubbing floors, I'm wanting to throw things out, donate to the goodwill, sell no ebay, just get rid of the excess. Plus we needed to move our guest room into the office to then convert the guest room into the kid's room. we accomplished most of that this weekend and it exhausted me! But, the guest room is setup and done and the office done away with (or somewhat combined with the guest room). Now we can begin the kid's room... Husband has to do the bulk of this work - he doesn't want me to lift more than .1lbs at the time so this eliminates me carrying anything more than a picture frame down to the basement for storage. Its sweet - he is always full of concern. He also feels I shouldn't help paint the kid's room... but i wanted to help with this - husband is not a neat painter. he painted one room in our house and it was a slight disaster. primer on the ceiling, bits of gray paint on the wood floors, didn't use tape, etc. ya catch my drift. So i've painted everything else in our house ever since. Fingers crossed husbands second paint job goes much better and much neater!

Names - husband will pick. We agreed beforehand if it was a boy, he could pick and if it was a girl, i would. So husband wins. I'm fine with that. He has it narrowed down to two options - and i like both. But we plan to keep the name mum till he's born:) no need for unnecessary opinions that don't coincide with ours!

Movement

Last Saturday, husband went to watch the Steelers game with J and T out in Blue Bell, PA. I encouraged him to do so - with my lack of socialness recently, I really didn't want to feel I was depriving him of any such thing. I'm even more grateful now that I did this - as it turned out to be the last Steelers game of the season:( I watched the second half from bed. It was a close game... I yelled at bad calls, cheered for the steelers driving down the field and then "bump... bump... " from the belly! What was that - I thought. I immediately lay very still, eyes glued to my stomach.... "nudge" there it was again! I was 100% sure it was the baby... in all my excitement over the game, i had stirred the kid awake and the kid was nudging back! This went on for over 45 minutes... a little nudge here and there. Wow. By this point, the fourth quarter was close to being over but i couldn't help it. I had to call Husband.

"HELLO??" He yells into the phone, over a background full of bar noise.

"Hey! Guess what?!"

"WHAT?!?!" He yells back, puzzled sounding, like he hadn't even heard me.

"I said guess what?!"

"I can BARELY hear you... but okay, what?!" the bar noise worsens as the game goes on.

"I felt the BABY MOVE!"

"HUH?!"

"I FELT THE BABY MOVE. A FEW TIMES IT MOVED!"

"THE BABY? WHAT? IT MOVED?!" He questions.

"YYEESS! I'll see you when you get home," I yell, wondering why I even called.

Now, over a week later, the kid moves daily. One evening the kid was so active and strong, I swore to Husband he could feel it. He placed his hand on the bump and after much patience, he finally feel a nudge. "There it was!" He says.

Its amazing. And as I sit here, I can feel it, moving on and off. I'm in awe there is a living, breathing human inside my body. I'm in complete awe of how God designed us...

A Bump

I officially have a bump. Not a large one - or a real obvious one, but its definitely a baby bump down there. I don't mind it. Actually, I like it because it confirms that I am going thru all this hell because there really is a baby in there. I'm aprx. 19 weeks along, less maybe, and still not feeling that great. Nauseas on and off. I haven't had a puking day since Dec 26. Headaches - often. Constipation is better. Eating is still a chore - even when i'm not feeling sick. My appetite just is not there.

This friday is my next obgyn appt, checkup is all. I'm sure they will tell me to take zofran if I feel sick and tylenol for the headaches. Believe me, if its bad enough I will but I hate to take any medicine if I don't have to. Husband is going along on the appointment to ask his own questions and to be with me even though I'd rather him not go.

Husband has been upset with my lack of appetite and lack of weight gain, talking to me about eating more, putting on weight, the list goes on. I remind him I'm doing the best I can and most days do not feel well at all. Needless to say, this is causing arguements and stress at home and is making me regret even being in this position. How horrible is that? Regretting being pregnant? I feel so guilty even writing it but I'm committed to being bluntly honest on here. I feel wretched, my husband and I are arguing and disagreeing... who wants that? I was in tears last night over dinner because I'm just tired of this - tired of it all.

I missed work yesterday and spent the day at home sleeping, forcing down food, and made a pot of soup. I finally ventured out for a walk with the dogs. Its been beautiful weather here today and yesterday. Sunny, clear skies, warm. Ahh so nice. We walked and it was the highlight of the day for all of us:-) Today its back to work and its been tough but I'm here.

I hope to soon post something fun and exciting and happy!! I really do. Thats what I want just not sure how much longer till its true. Until then, you get the annoying, sad details haha. And I know that all of you mom's out there will say "OH but its SO worth it... you'll see... " and i'm sure i'll read this stuff later and think that. Till that day - i have to say I wonder... But again, at least I have this cute little baby bump now, reminding me of the miracle in there:)